Trouble Communicating

I have trouble communicating. May sound very silly saying that while I’m writing a blog about my Road to Recovery. But communication isn’t just about talking. There’s hearing, talking, writing, feeling, expressing myself the list goes on, everyday we communicate with each other a vast number of ways and I have always struggled.


I am hard of hearing ans wear a hearing aid. I also suffer from tinnitus so being able to listen and understand people can be quite challenging at times especially in noisy environments.


I suffer from Dyslexia and I admit have quite bad handwriting. When writing anything wether it be online or on paper, I tend to use words that I know. If I struggle to spell something I’ll tend to go round the houses and waffle alot to get my point across. Yes I know there are spellcheckers available, but when you have dyslexia you don’t always ‘see’ the letters in the words in the correct order. I can read ok, but somewhere in my mind after taking the information on it gets scrambled and doesn’t necessarily come back out correctly. I’ve struggled with dyslexia all my life and despite what my previous work managers its not something that can be cured or something I will grow out of.


Ive always been a person who hides there feelings since being bullied at school and throughout my life. Its easier for me to lock away my feelings rather than deal with them. Feelings are a major way to communicate e.g. of your angry, upset etc.. Since my breakdown I have been on antidepressants and anxiety medications and this further numbs my feelings. However through counselling I’m starting to explore feelings again.


Again another one that seems strange for me to have difficulty with, having been in call centre jobs for almost 13 Years I’ve done a lot of talking on the phone, but that was business talk. Talking about me is whole different thing. I hate talking on the phone now days due to a number of factors, my long career of telephone jobs, my difficulties in hearing, the lack of seeing someone’s body language, anxiety to name a few. I don’t know what to say to people some times. At the moment I’m not working or socialising, so I don’t have a lot to say. I’m anxious I’ll say the wrong thing or my mood (which isn’t always uplifting!)  may come across. Its just easier to avoid things.

Expressing myself:

Its difficult for me to express myself due to the reasons above but also because I don’t have the confidence. I’m always afraid something bad will happen or what I’ve said or done will be taken in the wrong context. I’m not good, in fact I’m terrible in social settings. I’m always the quiet one stood in the corner of the room. I have a number of online friends that I know and chat to and would love to meet in person but with a lack of confidence and communication skills again its easier to avoid.


I do find that writing my blog posts or facebook/Twitter status is a big outlet for. There’s no time pressure, I can review things before I post them and in a way its how I can disconnect from myself to say how I’m feeling and share my anxieties.

Hopefully this post will give people a insight into myself and why I’m not always forthcoming with feelings, conversations or meeting up with people. Its not that o don’t care or that on lazy it genuinely is a struggle for me.

4 thoughts on “Trouble Communicating

  1. Will said xxxx It is difficult to get to know the real people behind the masks we all wear, but I think you have spoken about it very clearly. Remember that we all forget things too, so regular reminders like this work with us all. Sometimes you may need to give family and friends a poke to remind us that you are ‘still there’ xxx

  2. Wow! Michael you expressed yourself very well there. It gives a good clear explanation of the difficulties you have, that people would not always recognise. You, lovely man, are doing very well indeed.

  3. Hey, Mikey,

    Thank you for explaining your difficulties in communicating so clearly. I knew some of this, but not all of it. You and I have known each other online for a long time, and it would be lovely to meet face to face sometime, but it’s also ok if we just communicate in this way. I’m just happy to know you and to have you in my life. You’re a wonderful guy and seeing your fight to be happy inspires me.

    Much love. xxxxxxx

  4. Wow, I can REALLY relate. I also have most of my job experience in call centers (not as long as you , but still) but have trouble talking on the phone or with people. And expressing my feelings, besides through writing, which is why is started my blog, which is also about having PTSD from domestic abuse. I wish nobody had to go through all this, but at the same time there’s something good in knowing you’re not alone. Is there a way to subscribe to your blog?

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